I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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