VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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