We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
