This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
