Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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