Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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