She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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