How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
