I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
