I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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