He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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