another moral hangover. fuck.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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