Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
