All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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