in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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