I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
