I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
