It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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