No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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