margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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