Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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