oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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