Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
