Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
