I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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