i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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