ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
