I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
