how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
