i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
