8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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