i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
