It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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