I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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