He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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