we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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