I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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