There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
