no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
