I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
