like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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