that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
