oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
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Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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