I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
