420 ftw
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize