Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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