four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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