Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is my gift to your gina
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
