So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
