There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We're too hungover to prance.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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