Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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