is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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