how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
