how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
