stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
