RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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