I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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