Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
