Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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