I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
